on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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