I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
