It's Friday. Sex?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
