Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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