Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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