She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
