Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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