you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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