i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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