I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
