vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
