I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
