when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
