I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
