ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
