Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
