he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
