what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
