Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
