whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
