i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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