No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
