Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize