remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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