Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
