I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
