Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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