dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
