I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
babies were throwing up all over the place
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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