That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
