and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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