Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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