You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
