you guys were way drunker than both of me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
