I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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