"it" just moved
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
