Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
