I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
