do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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