Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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