We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
