Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
