69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
