you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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