Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
