dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
