Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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