ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
