Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
