it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
