Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
