I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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